September 26, 2006
Husk
I have known many women who struggle with eating disorders. They mostly stem from two things: body dysmorphia (look it up) and being able to control at least one thing about their life when everything else is out of control. I'm more like my father, the perennial 12-year-old who, when asked if he has an eating disorder, answers affirmatively then shoves food into his forehead.
I have a special message for all you women out there. 99% of all heterosexual men think this woman is disgustingly emaciated. Even if it may offend, I want to drive the point home by saying that she looks like a concentration camp victim, except of course that she's prancing around in a bikini. Observe the look on her face, like she's the bitch of the universe. That kills any attraction for the remaining 1%, who prefer demure pretzel women.
My advice to young ladies who see this picture and think "oh, I am so fat" is this: only about 30% of you are actually fat, according to the statistics I just made up in my own mind. The rest of you are just fine the way you are. You are not in competition with other women. The simple truth is that not every man is attracted to the same kind of woman, or the same look. Some prefer blondes, some brunettes, some redheads or auburn. Some men actually prefer women who are overweight. Many men actually like it when a woman's stomach plumps out a little near the waistline. Perhaps this is a hard-wired biological response akin to being pleased with the look of a pregnant wife.
Not only that, but personality can go a long way. In fact, a good personality and being fun to hang out with are so important to a man that I recommend you switch gears. Instead of starving yourself to death...chill...go with the flow. Realize now that this woman is in a love/hate relationship with her body and do not follow her down the path to becoming a leathery husk of bones.
Posted by Nathan Dickson at 08:22 AM | Comments (0)
May 19, 2006
American TV Viewers as a Whole are Morons
When phenomenal and ground-breaking television programs like Sons and Daughters get cancelled after only ten episodes in favor of something like According to Jim, something is wrong. Here is a short list of television programs or types of programs that I have only watched briefly, but never will again, mostly because I think they are beyond retarded. Unfortunately, I am sure this list will expand:
American Idol
Give me a break. This is nothing more than televised karaoke. Just because you can belt out a song does not mean you are talented, no matter how good you are. This show is more about embarrassment than singing anyway. Moronic.
Survivor
In any of its ridiculous incarnations. This show is nothing but exhibitionism and voyeurism, but it's not even good exhibitionism or voyeurism. Let's put a group of beautiful people in a situation where they emaciate, sometimes run around naked (and emaciated) and stab each other in the back. It's like setting up cameras at a concentration camp or televising Christians fighting lions from a Roman coliseum. With today's perspective, who in their right minds would want to watch that? Absurd.
Redneck Television Shows
I don't even remember what they're called, but they're on Comedy Central and various others. It may just be the all the mullets that annoy me. No, it's also the way they talk and the way they dress and the way they carry themselves -- like they're all inbred. "If you watch this show . . . you may be a redneck."
Celebrity Sports
I don't care what the sport is -- Celebrity Bowling, Celebrity Skiing, even Celebrity Bash-The-Fuck-Out-Of-Each-Other -- I refuse to watch it. After all, how far down the alphabet of celebrity status do you have to be in order to be on one of these shows? D-List maybe? It's a cry for help. I won't bite.
Awards Shows
The only one that counts (and that I watch) is the Academy Awards. The others are all "me toos" that can be safely ignored. Even the Academy Awards gets annoying, though, especially if the host is not quick on their feet. I think Jon Stewart did a great job this year.
And now, on the flipside, here is a show that you will watch if you are anything but a half-wit:
The Daily Show
Brilliant, ascerbic wit. Not only that, but you learn what's going on in the world even as it is being mocked. To get a taste, go to The Daily Show Website. Always smart, never pandering, this show will be difficult to top, as it's well on its way to being rated the best comedy ever.
I do not know the authorship of the exceedingly funny animated GIF at the top of this entry. However, if the author contacted me, I would be more than happy to give credit where credit is due.
Posted by Nathan Dickson at 08:11 AM | Comments (0)
April 18, 2006
Sign This Petition
Please click on this link to navigate to a legitimate online petition targeted at ABC. Its design is to persuade ABC to renew the television show Sons and Daughters for at least a second season. ABC is currently sitting on the fence because of a poor Nielson showing, but a swell of audience support could sway them.
If you would like to know more about this show, look back through my latest several postings on The Brain to see four shows from the series.
Posted by Nathan Dickson at 02:45 PM | Comments (0)
April 17, 2006
What is Evil?
With the news of that guy who’s name I will not mention in Oklahoma City who destroyed poor litttle Jamie Rose Bolin, the issue of evil has been mentioned frequently in the news. “How could someone do something so evil?” “How could such evil exist right next door?” Questions like that are asked over and over again.
A common misconception about evil is that it is some sort of substance or thing that can be caught or transported. I think this odd perception stems partly from movies like Time Bandits where evil is portrayed as both a physical being and a physical substance. It also stems from our innate desire to objectify things unseen, part of the reason for religious symbolism like crosses and such.
The ironic thing is that evil is all around us. It is in each and every one of us. Any time you set your will against another person (or God) intending to defraud them or hurt them in some way, you are doing something evil. You see, evil is not a thing, rather it is an act of will. Therefore, any human being is technically capable of committing an evil act of such proportion that most others would be revulsed.
An act of love is the opposite of an act of evil. To love someone or something is to sacrifice of oneself for the other, to give instead of take, to ensure the good of the other even when it costs you. Love is an act of selflessness whereas evil is an act of selfishness.
The only difference between a normal person and this child murderer in Oklahoma City is that he allowed his selfishness to go unchecked for an extended period of time, partly because he lived alone and partly because he immersed himself in a world of fantasy. He allowed himself to become deluded to the point where he was able to somehow justify his actions. To him, it seemed like the next logical step.
Let this stand, then, as a word of warning to those who know someone reclusive, introverted, cut off from others. Sure, they seem quiet and disarming because they are so unobtrusive, lacking passion or opinion. Maybe they have an exaggerated fantasy life involving role-playing games online or maybe they are a pathological reader of fantasy. Whatever it is that keeps them from having healthy relationships with other real people face-to-face is what propels them toward self-destruction.
Without a healthy relationship with at least one other real in-their-face human being, no one can challenge them to be more than what they are. No one can call upon them to be honorable or sacrificial for the good of another. No one can take the time to invest in them and draw them out of their downward spiral so that they can see that other selves are just as important, if not more important, than their self.
Online relationships may seem real, but they are not. Relating only to characters in books may seem real, but it is not. We all need flesh-and-blood people in our lives to startle us, challenge us and push us toward good instead of evil. Unfortunately, our culture does not encourage that type of investment in others, instead promoting the unreal. Quiet and reserved people who keep mostly to themselves may seem harmless, but often they are the most dangerous.
As it is, this poor sod in Oklahoma City will probably receive the death penalty for what he did, and rightly so. He is responsible for his actions, regardless of what anyone could have done to help him beforehand. He is culpable and should pay for what he did. I, for one, do not want a person who has allowed himself to travel down this road to remain alive, for they almost never return.
Posted by Nathan Dickson at 06:07 PM | Comments (1)
February 19, 2006
Bob Evans vs. Cracker Barrel
After swearing never to return, I again took my family to eat lunch at Bob Evans. Against my better judgment, and perhaps hoping their quality had improved, I ordered a BLT.
When our waitress brought the food, she handed me a rancid concoction of what can only be described as bacon larvae mixed with tomatoes and lettuce. When she saw the look of surprise on my face, she explained with an air of disregard, "It's not my fault. I told the cook that you wanted the bacon crispy." If you are a waitress and you hand me a plate of slime, it is your fault. It was at that moment that she lost her full tip.
As I returned my sandwich to the kitchen, thoughts of Cracker Barrel went through my head. On every visit there, my bacon has been cooked perfectly: crispy but not burned. My replacement bacon was a bit on the burned side but I resigned myself to eating a sub-par BLT (I am so sorry, Stephen Colbert).
When my wife sent back one of her her bacon snails, the manager returned a few minutes later to see if there was anything he could do to make up for the problems. I guess our waitress had had enough responsibility for the day. In the end, my plate was free and Lisa's bacon was free.
The waitress still did not get a tip.
Posted by Nathan Dickson at 01:32 PM | Comments (0)
December 20, 2005
Northwest Airlines Blows
Oh, the story I have for you . . .
My lovely wife Lisa and I flew out to California for personal and business reasons. Yesterday, on our flight back, we were almost sabotaged by this bitter African-American woman who was manning the A2 gate at Memphis -- Lisa sometimes gets this treatment from other women because of the way she looks, especially from certain African-American women. Anyway, this woman deliberately gave us misleading information, as I would soon figure out.
This lady had already rubbed me the wrong way ninety minutes earlier when I asked for help changing our seat assignments, "I have to help the passengers for this plane, sir." There was no one in line except the guy that she had just finished helping. She just didn't want to be bothered with us. Lazy.
15 minutes before our flight, word came over the intercom that passengers would be limited to only one carry-on each. I went back to the lady who didn't like us to explain that all my bags met Northwest's requirements for carry-ons. I didn't understand that this was a smaller plane. In my defense, you couldn't see any planes from this enclosed waiting area. She got huffy with me (horrible customer service) and told me that I would have to check my largest rolling bag back at Security near Gate A19.
This was so "last minute" and seemingly out of our control -- very fear inducing. Lisa and I got about 50 paces away from A2, hoping to check our bags and still catch our flight, when some nice lady stopped us. The lady explained that she was a person who helped physically disabled people make it to their plane on time and that she knew the airport's procedures well. She explained that if we were to go all the way to A19 and try to check our bags that we would miss our flight. She said that all we had to do was to go back to the lady at Gate A2 and get a green tag for each item that was too large to fit into the plane's overhead bin or under our seats. Our bags would then be stowed in the luggage compartment but would be waiting for us in the hallway as we left the plane.
Everything clicked in my head. I was livid. I hurried back and firmly asked the lady point blank, "Are you the person who hands out green tags that people can put on their luggage so that they don't have to check them back by Gate A19?" Her response was to roll her eyes at me and hand a wad of green tags (which she was now holding in her hand) to the guy standing next to her. She disappeared behind the door to the A2 hallway. I was so angry, realizing that this bitter, competitive woman was trying to screw us royally.
The guy handed me two green tags. I thanked him and expressed my exasperation at the woman, about which he smiled apologetically and shrugged. Wimp.
The woman reappeared, at which point Lisa and I began to relay our extreme disappointment with her customer service skills. She denied ever telling us to go back near Gate A19 to check our bags, at which point my blood boiled and, without feeling to need to censor myself anymore (and having had some liquid courage with lunch), I called her a liar to her face. At that, she took a mild fighting posture, wagged her head with wide eyes, and the guy put himself between her and me. I went away to tag my bag while Lisa attempted some damage control. However, Lisa defended me, gently explaining that "he called you a liar because you lied to us." (Lisa's actual words)
Anyway, the woman kept denying any wrongdoing, telling the guy standing there that Lisa was confused. We're going to take this to the president of Northwest Airlines if we have to. We have everything we need: the lady's first name, Gloria; the location, Gate A2; the date, December 19th, 2005; the time, 2:30 p.m. CST; the airline, Northwest; and the airport, Memphis International. When Lisa asked her name, she replied with a sneer, "It's Gloria, G-L-O-R-I-A." as if she felt invincible. Bitch.
A few minutes later, as she was scanning our boarding passes without making eye contact with us, she was muttering under her breath. As we collected our things to go through the A2 door, you could hear her telling people behind us "that woman called me a liar" as if to incite a passenger uprising against us. If Lisa talked about troublesome library patrons to other patrons, she would be fired on the spot. Besides, I was the one who called her a liar, not Lisa. I actually feel proud of myself for that.
The most hilarious part of the whole green-tagged bag situation was that our bags were just sitting in the hall next to the airplane door waiting for us. No one was verifying that people took their own bags, matching green stub to tag, so the whole green ticket thing was bullshit. Anyone could have taken our bags. Northwest Airlines sucks, especially at Memphis.
Posted by Nathan Dickson at 08:04 PM | Comments (5)